Family

 Many years ago, when our kids were "little" and we had moved to Cornwall, CT, in the woods, a young woman came to spend the summer with us. She was a cousin of Dirk's, a few times removed, a teenager. Our kids were all under 6 (1988). At the time, her family lived in Bridgeport and we knew her summer and ours would be so much better if she stayed with us. She had babysat for the kids, come to various family events with us, so we thought we knew her pretty well, and she knew what she was getting into with 3 kids around in the woods!

Cissie, as was her knickname, was family, let me make that clear. A big sister, not a nanny or mother's helper, although she was a tremendous help to us. It was a gift to us that her Mom let her come with us for the summer.

Our first trip to the town pond was a bit stressful for us all. We had purchased a family pass for the beach a few days earlier. Parked the car and grabbed all the beach paraphenalia, crossed the road and headed down the sandy path. Kids and parents in the water, real sand. You could see and hear all the fun. A teenager sat in a chair in the shade, checking passes. I didn't even think about handing our pass over to her. She looked at the pass, then our group. 3 littles with an older girl. She said, "You all can go, but she's not family", and pointed to Cissie. It felt like a fire was building up inside me, and I responded she certainly was. She would not let us go by!

We traipsed back to the car, loaded it up, and I drove to Town Hall. Walked in with my troop, all in bathing suits (me, too) and asked for a supervisor, please. I tried so hard to be professional, remembering the kids were watching, and this was a new town for us. A woman came over to the desk (not a supervisor, but at that point?). I explained that these kids and I are "family" and the pass (it was $15) said "Family" on it. From her, I wanted a note that my "Family" was verified. The woman was (justifiably) horrified this happened and apologized profusely for this, to me AND to the kids. 

She gave me a note, notarized. We thanked her and drove right back to the pond, repeated our trek. Very sweetly, I gave the note to the teenager who spent a good amount of time reading it over and over. While she did that, I told the kids to go on and set up in a good spot. Finally she gave me back the pass and the note. 

You know we went to the pond beach EVERY day we could that summer. We all met great families and kids, enjoyed the cool water and building sand castles. Cissie never said a word to me about what happened that day. I did talk with her about this, and explained that some people hadn't been raised right, but that was NOT about her - it was about them. Sadly, she would have to deal with this. She nodded and then I knew she already had, in other aspects of her life. She was always mature before her years. We knew her well, but that Summer just cemented our relationships with her. An amazing young woman even in her teenage years.

Cissie came to my family reunion with us, and other events. I remember the reunion that year quite well. My Uncle John told her his corny jokes, everyone spoke with her and welcomed her to the family. She did everything we did - because we are family. That summer was a coming of age for all of us. We left Cornwall after a year there - it was wrenching to do so. The best thing to come out of that year was the Summer with Cissie. The kids still see her as their older sister, I love her so very much, even if we don't see each other often. 

She is a smart, funny, wonderful woman, who is working on her 2nd career - married to a great guy. A few years ago, her generous Mom went to live with her. Her Mom passed away this week, to Cissie's great sorrow. Karen, we thank you for the loan of your daughter all those years ago. May memories of you be forever in all of our hearts.